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unspoken baptism (2016)

Wind visits this late evening to sweep leaves across another disorderly autumn Time now to let those few dear to me know I’m going, though words come hard and never seem enough Perhaps to sleep, perchance to dream -huh!- a better answer, while steel rain washes city slate under the ageing moon's unspoken baptism We are all precariat, for sure     CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh  

Dirty old man

Dirty old man, lucky old man; she must be younger than any daughter you may once or more have had. Now self-conscious, you read my face from a corner of your eye, from along a crowded bar. “Time to go,” I see you mouth, before she follows in her most dutiful manner, gazing straight ahead. Dirty old man, sad old man, holding on to insecurity so tight for as long as you can. Just wait until the day you become too infirm, in any sense of that word. CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh

Edinburgh festival city

Edinburgh; a city in love with yourself, if rather bitter underneath. Festival city; celebrating all but your own, once each year. Edina’s midden; perhaps so, yet still special for me, your outcast spawn. “See you soon,” I say. “See you, son,” says you. CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh

performers (1991)

oohs and aahs, our public entertained, we followers of Bacchus pursuing all that's vain; back in a time when nothing could go wrong; wizards, sprites, magicians, and days forever long; lost souls acting out scenes beyond real life; before our sorrow, our trouble, my now ex-wife       CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh  

September sun

I sit still disputing summer's demise Canute-like by the shore, beneath banks of billowing cloud behind which a September sun stoops in surrender to the season. My t-shirt and shorts sound a stoic cadenza, likely inviting a bout of influenza, while around me pass countless goats in coats that they bought from Marks+Spencer ® CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh

This beast lives

Slayed that dragon yet? How? By hiding whenever and wherever? Well this beast lives on, right here, cursed into eternity to remember how love once filled both my eyes and yours. Happy now?         CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh  

Blood Sacrifice

Every Western nation under vice-like occupation of parasitic settlers not who or what they claim to be; Their wars a blood sacrifice to the god of this world, whose feud trails back beyond some thousands of years; Prophets killed, Messiah murdered - holy blood spilt by these devils, now a curse on their children; And having hollowed out their host, this deity and his demons turn full-face to confront you and me. Matthew 27:25 - KJV CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh

Warning signals from a face no longer aglow

Warning signals from a face no longer aglow, your streams of nonsense, your endless lies, just bounce off me. No longer music to my ears, we're over. Irrecoverably so. Consider yourself unplugged. For I won't take any more, will not listen to you, my totally radio ex-girlfriend. And even though I might wonder quite when you lost your appeal, how we stopped turning each other on, please know it's truly, madly, deeply fine with me.   Also published at Paragraph Planet . CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh

A small boy looked up

Out on the promenade, a small boy stood patiently, if clearly bored, close to his parents as they talked to a wider group of adults. Looking about idly, wondering what to do, he spotted my odd socks. He then stared up at me, wonder written across his face. With a friendly frown and a conspiratorial wink, I placed a finger to my pursed lips, letting him know how one day he too might be free.  CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh See the story as it appears on the Paragraph Planet literary site .  

Lips now kissing others

Whether lips now kissing others, or souls since laid to rest, I count familiar hearts whom I may never touch again. Left to linger under a metal rain, one washing over my skyline, I weep for every love, each face no longer mine. And as I wait for sunrise this bloodless morning set in another bloody year, dull lightbulbs snap on behind high windows, as a radio manufactures the day's headlines for those still believing.     CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh  

thoughtstream-dream-parable

i wake up from my armchair still drunk but silent in a cool summer night to see my once-upon-a friend and his woman sat opposite looking at me with concern etched over their faces | next i wander in a white infinity curve landscape always ahead as they follow me leaving piles of yellow coins i do not want to find later in the back seats of several stationary convertibles | then you appear most beautiful woman i knew all those years and we are afloat on a raft of a mattress together and utterly alone in our very own intimate darkness where i can only marvel as your red hair shines and your sleeping face smiles in the light of a warm narrow beam that streams from behind pulled heavy curtains | sweet Lord Jesus give me more and tell me what it means ... CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh Acts 2:17 - KJV 

Morning interlude on Scotland's west coast

My mechanical clock says five-thirty-seven as I raise the blind on this light summer morning, Across the street a gull asserts its weight over a magpie and three jackdaws, all of them foraging fruitlessly for their breakfast on a damp patch of pavement next to an overflowing bin. Chased by the gull, mister magpie complies and moves on, as magpies tend to do, while the playful jackdaws seem game for a spot of teasing - for they are used to dealing with bullies. But eventually the third jackdaw gives up and struts away in search of more fertile ground. From behind my open window I ponder which of these different personalities I most identify with (probably that last jackdaw, or maybe the magpie). While I drift through such thoughts a car hisses by and elsewhere gulls cry out in unison like a gaggle of distressed children. Eventually the kettle comes to boil, snapping me back into focus. Black coffee, oatcakes and thick-cut orange marmalade. It's going to be a fine day today here on S...

On this coastal summer night

The pagan spell worked its charm on the sea of ice cream faces now turned away from boat burning and other abominations to board late home-bound trains that will carry their home-bound bodies mostly fuelled by a day of battered fish, soggy chips and diluted beers. These pugilistic Scots will re-tread well-worn arguments, thereby tormenting tired eyes towards salty tears and ultimately into submission. And any of their children, those not yet asleep, those keeping schtum, might just turn face outwards to witness a much higher God displaying the merry dance of his northern lights on this coastal summer night. CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh Psalm 19:1 - KJV

I've acquired a small dark demon

I've acquired a small dark demon who wears two distinct faces. With one, he will flitter, flutter, not quite flatter, obsequious in his manner. The other conceals a malignant mischievous smile redolent of a lower order. Don't think I dislike this wicked little weevil; au contraire, he's my reminder to abstain from all appearance of evil. I'll even show him these words, prepared to see him wroth, describing how I wish he'd just get lost.   CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh 1 Thessalonians 5:22 - KJV

Lie over this Earth

Slapped senseless day one then swaddled in sleep, do you know who, what, why, when or where you dream?      Come many, come many, come many, come one to a realm that sits beyond hell unseen, where snakes shake hands dipped in pockets of poison.      And under the milk sky a brass band play tacit, and even a poet forgets to write.      To understand how truth sits above our received wisdom, see the prince of the power of the air spin his lie over this earth.      He knows your days here number no more than a breath. CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh 2 Corinthians 4:4 - KJV

get up again

don't let your childhood define you. hard, i know. what wasn't your fault wasn't your fault. try to let it go. we're here to learn, to fail, to get up again. don't let your childhood define you. let Jesus lift your pain.     CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh 2 Corinthians 5:17 - KJV

05 Aug 2021

subdued ambience spatters my window under an overcast sky 21:25 and Brahms plays on a radio bought elsewhere by a much younger man now long lost to me those others met along the way who like me too took their solitude neat oh it's the wait that I can't stand   CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh Romans 12:12 - KJV 

in this w0rld

ink over paper dots on screens 0 in this w0rld is quite what it screams   CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh John 17:15 - KJV

Her preferred choice

   A child when last we spoke, your middle age now nears still silent to me.   I think of you most days, particularly in this cold darkness. Poison certainly was her preferred choice. CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh Romans 12:19 - KJV

Find you

One special day we stood together alone on Cromer Beach, where December sun bathed skin stung by wind from a familiar bloody sea. Side of fresh salmon - Kir Royale the apĂ©ritif - stylish in every respect - waiting back at the cottage to bless another occasion of friendship thicker than water. Yet in many years to follow, neither card nor present exchanged; for now beyond reach, I know not how to find you. (for Keith)       CC BY-ND 4.0 - Russell Cavanagh Psalm 34:18 - KJV